Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Poops McGee Strikes AGAIN!

First, let me properly introduce you. This is Poops McGee (a.k.a. Will):

Cute, ain't he? Looks can be deceiving...

This is the elder boy, Nick:

Yes, he's very photogenic, much unlike his mother. (You'll see later, trust me - the profile pic was a fluke. It happens sometimes.) Cutest picture EVER of Nick from last night:

He was trying so hard to be a good boy, go potty by himself and wash his hands. He just sort of forgot a step.

And this is me and Poops McGee:

So, as I said, Poops struck again. Only this time, we were at the library for story time...and wait, I get ahead of myself.

As I posted earlier, most of southeastern Wisconsin and northeastern Illinois are getting a hell of a storm tonight and tomorrow, and well, it'll probably just go on snowing forever. (The weather service has changed their earlier predictions and said we could now get 20" of snow. Yes, I gasped out loud when I read this earlier today, but we'll just see how "on" that prediction is tomorrow night. Or Thursday morning. Or whenever the damned snow stops.)

So, hubby meets me at work - we typically switch cars, or transfer the boys from one vehicle to the other before he heads off to work and I head home or toward whatever errands await me. Only today I get to the end of the block and realize I've left my purse in my desk in my office.

I work in the U.S. Bank building - the only high rise building in Milwaukee, but regardless as to whether we have one or 57, it made it no less pleasant to circle the block, park, then drag two small boys through the snow, (because of course I have no stroller in my car and I'm carrying the 25 lb baby) through the parking structure, up an elevator, across the lobby (literally equal to about 2 city blocks), up another elevator, down a long hallway to my office. Got the purse, said required "hellos" and "look how big they're gettings" to my co-workers, then back down the hall...etcetera. You get the idea. (Oh, and the freakin' DOG is sitting about six inches from me, staring at me while I write this - so if I type "GO AWAY!!!" in the middle of any of this, I'm not talkin' to you...sorry.)

Story time at the library started tonight. After mentioning this to Nick last night and putting up with distracting him from whining about class not being last night it was apparently DIRE that we go tonight, come hell or high water, or 72 feet of snow. Not wanting to go home for the 45 minutes I had left between previously described hell and the library, we went to Mickey D's. All are happy, all is well, we get to the library early (for a change) and head for one of the wonderful family bathrooms in the wonderful children's section of the library. We do our business, Will gets a new diaper and life is wonderful. Wonderful!

BUT...not even five minutes later the story time teacher rings her little bell and Nick goes happily scampering off (GET!) and I look over to where Will is standing at the little play table smashing a lego with gusto to realize that his face is a familiar shade of red. And I just put him in the one diaper I had.

Story time is only half an hour, right?

Well, it doesn't go long or anything, but it turns out my friend's sister's daughter is in the same class and we're all chatty and I'm trying to keep her from noticing my baby's stench. By that I mean I'm mentally trying to will her and all other library patrons to simply not smell it. Didn't work - she says nicely, "Don't worry - I have a cold," and smiles. She's been there.

Just when you think the story is over, ah ha! Surprise! There's more!

So I'm wrestling kids back into coats and hats and mittens and we're still chit-chatting and "oh, yeah, that'd be fun...blah blah blah..." when Will sneezes. Friend's eyes go wide.

"Uh - there's a little snot on his lip."

I look down. My child had been slimed.

And I was too late to keep him from rubbing it around into his eyes and hair and all over his cheeks.

"Oh. My. GOD!"

Again, thank God for baby wipes. I had exactly one left. What is it with the freakin' bodily functions lately??? And how does THAT MUCH snot come out of a nose that SMALL???

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