Mommy's Losing

Lately I've realized that I've become that kind of Mom I swore I would never be - frumpy, disheveled, and on-the-brink-of-out-of-control. If you read yesterday's post, its needless to tell you I've been busy.

I had the opportunity to come home from work a bit early today, so the boys got to continue napping (novel idea, I know) and I was home just as Jay needed to leave. I walked into something I don't think I've ever experienced since having kids. Silence.

I had volunteered to make up laminated bookmarks for my Grandma's funeral, which is this afternoon, and as with everything else in my life, I was running behind with them. So I plunked myself down in front of the TV and got out all the bookmark-making materials and started working.

I forgot how great that is - to have time to myself. It felt so good. I was amazed to realize that while I've been good about making time once a month to get together with a friend or two and to also go out alone with Jay. But I've not made time to do anything by myself in months.

With the exception of getting my hair cut last week. It had been four months since it was cut last. Are you gasping? And I went to a place different than where I usually go, thinking I'd save a little money. I did, but there's a reason why the difference in cost was $50. Not totally diggin' it. the color's good, but its a bit choppy.

Then, today, I went to no less than four stores looking for dress shoes for Nick. FOUR! Can you believe that? I thought, it's May. There are weddings, graduations, etc. etc. etc. in May/June/July, how can they have NO DRESS SHOES for little boys?!? Girls, there's 56,000 options, but boys, you're out of luck. We finally found them at Sears - a store I've never in my life been to looking for shoes. I didn't even know where their shoe department was.

While running these errands, which involved multiple exchanges of load-kids-into-car, drive, take-kids-out-of-car, 15-minute-fruitless-shopping-trip, repeat, I realized I was wearing jeans with paint on them and a sweater that is short enough for my belly to hang out if I should stretch in just the right way. Which happened to be often. Damn it.

However, in my Mommy-defense, I must tell you that I've never had good hair or good style. Well, except when I was a very little girl. It seems that at first my hair behaved:

Me & my brother, Al - we're 16 months apart.

But what the hell am I wearing?!? A handkerchief?!?

Then pigtails worked for awhile. Even when wearing such monstrocities as this:

Is that Ronald McDonald on my pants? Wait, I think I see Big Bird.

Another common thread carried throughout my childhood photos is nudity. Either we were so poor my parents could only afford to clothe three of the four of us at any given time, or I was rebelling against the horrid clothing choices they made for me.

See? Naked WITH bad hair. And Mr. Potato Head glasses. I'm ready for the red carpet.

Another thing my mother insisted I always wear were bangs. Only I have 52 cowlicks in my hair in the front, so my bangs usually looked like this:

Are you diggin' the sweater? It was sparkly!

Honestly, most days, I'm fairly put together at work. I wear jewelry even. And sometimes make-up. But when it comes to me, not so much. I'm much more comfort than style, but this is getting ridiculous!