Thursday, July 31, 2008

Gems from a three-year-old

Nick n his ice cream cone1) "When I die I'm not going to go to heaven. I'm just gonna go to the hoppital."

2) As I'm heading out the door to yoga: "Mom - can I go to your yogurt class with you?"

3) Me: "Sit up, quit screwing around and eat your dinner!!!"
Nick: "My body can't sit up."

4) "Mommy, your legs need a hair cut."

5) Points to a mole on my neck, "Mom. You have a nipple right there."

6) As he's just about pulling my arm off while walking through Wal-Mart:
Me: "Nick, knock it off."
Nick: "I can't. Kingy-woos hop. I hafta hop."
*Kingy-woo = kangaroo.

7) Recently, my Mom has been taking a piece of candy from the desk of a co-worker for Nick before she comes over. Its Willy Wonka stuff - probably left over from Halloween.
"GRAMMA! Did you bring me some turds?!?"
*Again, for the English speaking folks, turds = Nerds. Don't ask where the swapping of the N for the T comes from.

8) Nick's jumping around his bedroom
Me: "Who are you?" (knowing his penchant for pretend games these days)
Nick: "I'm Innie-Anna Jones!"
Me: "Cool!" He's clearly "fighting" someone. I ask who.
Nick: "Spiderman."
Of course.

9) Nick: "Mom, we should have a girl baby in our family."
Me: "Oh yeah?"
Nick: "Yeah. We should have lots of babies. TEN babies." Counts to ten on his fingers.
Me: "Just where do you think all these babies are going to come from?"
Nick: "From jail."
Me: laughing "But we want nice boys and girls in our family, not naughty ones, right?
Nick: "Noo..." (shaking his head like I'm an imbecile) "The bad Mommies and Daddies go to jail. The kids can just come here!"

10) Pointing to his little brother: "Hims the bad guy."
Will grins at him, clearly not understanding the game.
Me: "Oh yeah?"
Nick: "Yeah. I hafta under arrest him."
Nick takes his brother's wrists, one at a time, and makes a clicking sound as he twists his hands around them.
Side note: No, we're not letting him watch inappropriate TV; Daddy's in law enforcement.

11) The boys are in bed, more than an hour after I tucked them in. Its been quiet, making me think they're actually asleep. Suddenly, while loading the dishwasher clear across the house, I hear a "MOOOOOOOOM!"

Thinking something may be wrong, I come running. "What?"

"William's still awake."

12) He also has been picking up names he hears in the news and doesn't know they're people. While over at our friends' house one day, the kids were jumping on the "jumpoline". A group of us parents were standing a few feet away, chatting, and suddenly we realize all the kids were laughing hysterically. Coming closer, we hear Nick jumping around the other kids, laughing and saying, "BarackObamaBarackObamaBarackObamaBarackObama". The kids didn't know "BarackObama" was a person, either. They just thought it sounded funny.

A few days later, walking around the house, I heard Nick talking about "John McCain + 8".

13) Last night, as I was tucking the boys in:
"William! I love you! Go to sleep like a good boy, OK?"


Monday through Sunday said...

lol! I have a blog..where I just post all these fun things my children say! I always think I NEVER would forget..but I do! Great list!!

Anonymous said...

#11 plays itself out nightly in my house. You will be so happy you got all this down in writing. It's priceless.

Suzie said...

Those are too funny. I think Bararck Obama sounds funny too.

wfbdoglover said...

lol - these are awesome!

THopgood said...

Still LMAO at #4 & 5. Nipple on your neck...mwahahahahaha!

Spice said...

So cute, love your list!!!! Mine is up here: Spice World

Melissa said...

So funny. I'm working on a list like this for Gavin. LOVE #5- LOL

Laura said...

I LOVE kids' comments!
Happy T13!

Heather said...

That's so cute! It sounds like your little guy has quite the imagination.

A Whole Lot of Nothing said...

I hear those all the time, but never get to write them down.

I GOTTA start.

Tara@From Dawn Till Rusk said...

So cute... do you walk around your house with a notebook or do you just have the best memory ever!
My little girl calls moles holes. Points to her arm all shocked and says: "mummy look, a hole"

Shamelessly Sassy said...

SO cute.

Wani said...

I'll have to start recording more of my 3yr old sayin's... he says the cutest stuff but I'm terrible about remembering it later! Thanks for sharing yours!

Kelly said...

Hi Colleen!!! Very cute post!

Lisa@BlessedwithGrace said...

Thanks for taking the time to write these great "words of wisdom" down for us to enjoy. So cute.

Abbreviated said...

I've heard some of those !

Wani said...

I married into a Cubs fan family... I grew up never watching sports (unless you count olympic figure skating or gymnastics). I'm still adjusting to having a "team" to keep up with during every season! Thanks for stopping by my TT!

Greta said...

Too funny. I'm looking forward to all the funny stuff my little one will be saying (but I've got a couple years!)

I especially liked the "John McCain +8"!

Earthmommy said...

I was laughing so hard at this!

MamaGeek said...

Those are DEFINITE gems.

Amy said...

The John McCain + 8 remark made me laugh out loud!

I need to start a list for my 4 year old. She comes up with some crazy things herself.

Happy2bme said...

Kids say the funniest things. Mine is the same way.

Zip n Tizzy said...

My two year old used to try to nurse the mole that's just below me left shoulder.

So funny... your legs need a haircut.

Looks like you're going to be taking in some foster kids before long... and it sounds like Nick will love them all!