Meet Bald Baby

There's a member of my family you haven't met before.

Meet Bald Baby.

See how new and clean Bald Baby is?
(That hat has been long ago lost.)

We got him just before Will was born, attempting to teach Nick (who'd just turned two) to be gentle and that babies need to be fed and cared for. And that it was not a good idea to carry a baby by its foot and swing it around while you walk through a doorway. Cuz on real babies those dings would hurt.

Daddy wasn't too keen on buying a dollie for his son at first, but it was a boy baby, and we'd read that it was a good way to deal with the "I need attention!" issues that spring up when Mommy needs to feed (or rock or change) the new baby. The books all said that if the older kid wanted attention while you were busy with the new one, that you should suggest that she/he feed his or her baby, too.

Well, that worked...sort of. All you really need to know is that Bald Baby never acquired a name, and he soon was added to the pile of forgotten stuffed animals in the boys' room.

Fast-forward a year and you'll find two little boys (not babies) and that one of the second boy's first words was baby. He'd happily point to babies on TV, babies in the grocery store, babies in Target, the mall, church...EVERYWHERE and proudly proclaim, "BABY!" in his wee little boy voice with a huge, "are you proud of me?" smile.

Why yes, dear, I am proud.

Soon, he spotted Bald Baby and had to have him. Then he found (in the deep dark recesses of the toy box) the little fake baby bottles and learned the word "bottle". He knew the two went together and would search out Bald Baby when he found the bottles and feed him. More heart-swelling smiles on his part and mine, and a bond was formed.

Now he regularly requests "BABY" at nap and bedtime, more than any other toy.

In fact, because the "I-want-what-HE-has" jealousy flows both ways in siblinghood, Nick often fights for Bald Baby, too.

Despite the attention, I'm thinking Bald Baby is beginning to become a bit neglected.

Poor nekkid baby - he looks cold, doesn't he?

First, it was lack of a name.

"How 'bout we give Bald Baby a name?" I suggested one day.

"He has a name, Mama," Nick replied.

News to me. "Oh yeah? What is it?"

"Bald Baby."

Stupid me. We argued the point for awhile which only resulted in Nick getting extremely upset. Guess the thing can't have a name. Bald Baby it is.

Then it was the clothes.

For some reason, the little dollie sleeper outfit has come off and simply should not be put back on. Grandma noticed the trend one day, and brought a new "outfit" for Bald Baby the next time she came over.

Even Bald Baby is in the Halloween spirit.

Only he apparently can't wear that, either.

MOOOOM! TAKE THIS OOOOFFFFF!

So, fine, he's now Nekkid Bald Baby. I'm pretty sure where Will gets the "can't wear clothes" thing (you may remember the story of how lame his Momma is - poor kid! Scarred for life...)

But where does this come from?

In case you can't see, he's wagging his finger, going "No no!"
To the nekkid bald baby. On the shelf under the coffee table.

Please don't send Nekkid Bald Baby Services to my house. I swear we don't otherwise abuse Bald Baby, or leave him out on the back steps in the cold.

Uh, we only have two kids. Where the hell did the third sippy cup come from?

Or, at least we won't any more.