I'm an over-worrier

...and an over-sharer, too.

I didn't post yesterday, with good reason. (And dang, just when Playgroupie posted my giveaway - check it out - its a good prize!) Turns out I got a UTI and had to head to urgent care. BAH.

Now, that's bad enough...but its not what caused me to sit up last night watching shows about babies born with two heads I had recorded on Discovery Health.

When I was pregnant with Will I had lower back pain. Nothing strange about that - many women get that. But after he was born it didn't go away.

Finally, when he was nearly a year old (this past January) I went in to see my general practitioner. He poked around at my back a bit and had me lay down so he could check the heels of my shoes to see if my legs were uneven. Finding nothing out of the ordinary, he explained that having had a second C-section, I had probably been favoring my stomach muscles and tweaked something in my back when lifting the wrong way. He prescribed four weeks of physical therapy.

PT was nice. At the start of each session I got a 15 minute massage by either ultrasound technology or little electronic zappy pads. (Hey, I don't even play a doctor on TV. Gimme a break.) I would nearly fall asleep under the heated pads they put on my back while the zappiness was being delivered. Upon completion of PT, they suggested I take up yoga as a way to continue to improve my flexibility.

I found yoga to be wonderful. It was built-in "me" time each week and I loved it. Combine that "me" time with physically feeling better and I had the best of both worlds.

But the back pain never went away.

Finally, at the end of September, I went back to the doc. Again, he poked at my back (making sure it wasn't my kidneys) and checked the soles of my shoes for uneven wear. He asked how my periods have been - alluding to the fact that organs that are near the spine sometimes make us think we have a back ache when really it might be something else. I answered his questions, but he stuck with his theory - that it was the ligaments that attach the back muscles to the pelvis that were giving me trouble. He prescribed deep tissue massage.

While that's all well and fine, (heck, if doc is telling me to get massages with the possibility that insurance may cover them, I'll have them every DAY) I called my OB doc last week when I realized that the back aches (mostly on the right side) were more severe just before my period.

After talking to the nurse, she thought it might be something more like endometriosis or cysts. She had me schedule an appointment for an ultrasound...this morning.

Now, it may be nothing. It may be minor. It may be something I can live with, like the two things I just listed. But what if its something else? After my Mom's experience with cancer I worry that it might be something similar. Even if its not cancer, what if I can't have any more children? I know I'm blessed beyond belief with the two I have, but I've sorta been looking forward to a third.

So, here I sit, oversharing my worries with the blogosphere, reassuring myself that I've only got an hour and forty-five minutes until they attempt to find out the problem.