Mommy's "Win of the Week" is on hold this week simply because this rant was assaulting my brain and I needed to get it out. I hope you understand that Momma needs the therapy. Come back next week when I'll have more good stuff for you. I promise. 'kay? Thanks. Bye!
I've decided that the worst possible punishment you could ever force upon another human being is to make them take two small boys shoe shopping.
OK, scratch that. Three small boys would be worse.
No, wait. Four.
No - FIVE. Oh man...five small boys in a shoe store? MADNESS.
If you are a mother to five small boys and you've ever taken them shopping at the same time, please know you are my personal hero and a verifiable GODDESS. Seriously.
Ahem. As I was saying...
At about this EXACT time last year (almost down to the DAY - holy crap!), I had the immense joy of taking my kids shoe shopping. So lets hope I can keep finding cute shoes for them online so as to keep this a once a year experience.
Cuz um, hello, Mr. Shoe Maker People? Uh, yeah - little boys need shoes as much as little girls do. And if you're only going to give us five options for tennis shoes (as compared with the 25 options for girls) YOU'D BETTER NOT MAKE ALL BUT ONE OF THEM WHITE.
And the single pair that's NOT white? Don't cover them in Cars characters or Spiderman or heaven help me - Handy freakin' Manny.
And for the love of God and all the holy freakin' ANGELS AND SAINTS don't make them cost $34.
Cuz they will fit my two year old for approximately two weeks.
We started at a shoe store cuz, well, we thought they'd have the most options. Of shoes.
DUR. They didn't.
Then, sans stroller, we headed to the mall across the street.
Cuz I'm crazy like that. I even told Nick that we were going all buck wild without a stroller. He was like, "Mommy, what's 'butt wild'?" I think I may have said, "Heh-heh...you said BUTT..." but I'm no longer sure. I think I may have blocked out part of my day.
Four stores later I decided that $24 for a pair of tennies that are half a size too big for Will was a decent compromise (you know - so they'd fit him for three weeks - and holy freaking jam on toast the poor kid was wearing shoes that are a SIZE AND A HALF TOO SMALL FOR HIM!!!) and that Nick didn't really need dress shoes or semi-dressy loafers or hell, even tennies that kinda looked nice cuz we sure as hell couldn't find them.
Crikey. Where the hell is Steve Irwin when you need him to find those long lost, elusive -- oh, yeah. Sorry. RIP Steve-O.
So, fam, when you see my kids tomorrow, take in their cute summer hair cuts, their semi-matching polos and clean cords and/or khakis and just stop there.
Cuz they may be freakin' barefoot.