Thursday, August 6, 2009

Time warp.

I was in the car alone today when I heard that song again.

I've heard it HUNDREDS of times since that day I first met you. But something - the time of day, the time of the month - something made me instantly remember what it felt like to be that uncertain fourteen-year-old girl again. That girl who had no idea as to the potential she possessed, the beauty others might see, the strength she would find -- all within her rail-thin, awkwardly tall body.

I remembered what it felt like to have an entire summer stretch out in front of me -- hot and stifling in its humidity and lack of activity. Weeks would go by when the only thing I had to look forward to were the days I could somehow get out of caring for my brothers and have a few hours to myself. I always felt guilty about that stolen time - it meant that more than likely, my younger siblings weren't really being watched after at all.

I remembered that feeling of uncertainty I had about everything in my life...would I be popular in high school? Would I be smart? Would I be successful? Would I have a family of my own, with whom I'd have a chance to do so many more things RIGHT?

Would I ever NOT BE POOR?

And just as instantly I realized that in some way, THAT song was a keystone in my life...it bridged the gap between then and now...it had been speaking to me all along but there was no way, at fourteen, I could understand what it was telling me.

YOU are the salve that has soothed away all of the uncertainty. YOU make me feel confident, and powerful, and beautiful. And blessed. That day I met you, the day I first heard that song, I had no way of knowing that the cocky dark-haired skater-boy would be the man who'd love me in spite of all of my awkwardness, and support me when I was most vulnerable.

I had no way of knowing that YOU would give purpose to my days and be my biggest supporter.

I realize that through whatever new things we are facing as we move into this next chapter in our lives?

I'm certain we'll find a NEW song, together.

We just may not know which song it is until we're old and gray.

You know, as we watch each other's limbs fall off. ;-)

22 comments:

Fear and Parenting in Las Vegas said...

Awww swwetie. Touching post. He's a lucky man, but please, for your children's sake, keep the limbs attached.

verygoodyear said...

beautiful song. beautiful post. thank you :)

The MeFest Team said...

thank you for sharing your song

Red Lotus Mama said...

Amazing how a song can speak right to your soul and bring you right back to a certain place. It is also amazing how it is not easy to find just the right song to share with your SO. I wish you guys many more wonderful years of trying to find that right song.

Manic Mother said...

That's a beautiful post. I remember that song from my childhood too, I love it!

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

Aw. Amazing how powerful a song can be, isn't it?

Diane said...

This is beautiful. You totally win at Girl Talk Thursday, dude. ;)

Michelle said...

Oh so poignant. You gave me goosebumps reading this. I love this post! And I still have some songs that when I hear... I can picture certain moments from my life that will be forever tied to them. I love what this song means to you.

Adventures In Babywearing said...

This was beautiful.

Steph

Burgh Baby said...

Awwww . . . I love when you get all mushy and stuff.

Jo said...

Beautifully written.

Kim H. said...

That post was the bees knees.

And yes, as much as they drive us crazy, isn't it wonderful to have your biggest supporter right by your side?! :)

Can't wait for the next chapter. Hee. Hee.

NicEmMOM said...

Ok, you suck! Thanks for the warning that I was going to cry! Love you both! (probably why I was crying) Take care and talk soon!

Wineplz said...

How sweet...especially the limbs falling off part. ;)

Secret Mom Thoughts said...

Love that song too. Touching post.

Momo Fali said...

Can I just tell you how much I love the tag "Life doesn't suck"? This is PERFECT proof.

Karen MEG said...

You two make beautiful music together; this was the perfect post, Colleen. Just fab.

Colleen said...

Beautiful and touching!

WackyMummy said...

That's beautiful. =)

JoeyfromSC said...

Sweet post!! I love how a song can transport you in time and make you feel right there "in that moment"

thanks for this post-Love your blog!

Huckdoll said...

Aww, total sweetness.

Kim said...

You guys are very lucky...

PSS.. for some reason I cannot comment on my work computer- it is a PC) maybe it has issues..:)