Friday, December 3, 2010

I hope this doesn't make me the bearded lady

A few months ago I decided that, God willing and all that crap about the creek rising, I was going to take a class, for me, because I wanted to.

Like most Moms, making time to do things for myself is challenging, and I had found myself at a point where I was doing nothing but working all day and dealing with kids all night. Alone. For weeks on end.

So I started taking Zumba classes at the local Y. Its perfect for me because they offer classes almost every night of the week which means I can go whatever night The Hubster happens to be home.

But I had also sworn that I was going to get better with my camera and/or PhotoShop, so I started looking for those classes as well.

I looked for months. Courses were either hundreds of dollars as part of some degree program or were held during the day when most people (like moi) are at work.

The ONLY place I could find a class at a reasonable cost and at a time that worked with my crazy schedule was at a technical college.

A technical college an hour from my house.

Which is already in BFE.

I was going to the BFE-iest of BFEs.

Yesterday afternoon it was already dark when I left my house. Had it been light out I might have been able to enjoy the scenery on the way to the northwoods backwoods rural town I was driving to, but as it happened it was completely pitch black dark and it was a good thing the tech school was basically on the town's one main street cuz I didn't get lost and actually made it to the school early.

I parked and walked inside, and found the room where the class was scheduled to take place. I had already stopped and gotten a coffee on the way (cuz who knew if BFE-ville would have a coffee place) and decided I'd check the school out to kill time. There had to be a book store to browse, right?

Wrong. Book store closed at 3:45 pm. A completely normal time to close a store.

So I kept walking and what did I find? Some sort of cafeteria type place (the food service part was closed, natch) where some students were sitting at tables studying while an episode of Cops was being shown on a wall-sized projector TV. (Because if the book store and cafeteria can't stay open past 4 pm then surely your local tech school should have a giant TV, right? Right.)

I sat down with my coffee and turned on my Blackberry, ready to amuse myself with Uber Twitter or Facebook for 20 minutes or so until class time.

When I heard them arguing very loudly.

"You don't want to use a left join."

"YES. I DO."

"You don't know what you're doing."

"Trust me. You do a right join, you get the wrong results. I've tried it."

Turns out I drove to Deliverence, Wisconsin, through the dark to a tech school where everything shut down at tea time to find a ginormous 450 lb man and a midget under 3' tall near to stabbing each other over a SQL query.

And darn it if my cell phone camera didn't freeze up.


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