Saturday, November 15, 2008

Survival of the fittest

Just a quick note:

If you host a birthday party at Chuck E Cheese's for a group of four-year-olds, be sure to choose the lunch-time party session so that A) the kids actually eat at lunch time, B) the kids can get home in time for an afternoon nap and 3) the party will end before the crazy afternoon crowds of parents get there - parents who don't seem to hesitate to start a fight with other parents over who's kid was at the ski ball machine first.

Also, if you have such a party, be sure to order cup cakes instead of an actual cake (or, you know, if you're a Super Mom, make them yourself) so that you don't get stuck cutting said cake with a plastic butter knife while small children wait anxiously. AND - if you *do* think ahead and get cupcakes, don't be afraid to tell the baker (at Royal Prestigious Sam's Club) to put what they deem to be half the desirable amount of frosting on top of them. Or you just may end up with red and blue frosting all over the floor. (Which isn't your floor anyway, but you'll still feel bad, even if that floor most likely has active hep C cultures living in it.)

AND, if you do have such a party, don't feel pressure to buy and assemble goodie bags, because A) the kids will only want the crap in them for about 15 minutes, B) they are likely to forget your bag of crap when they see the new crap they bought with all their prize tickets or 3) they will eat all the candy from the goodie bag along with one or two of the small plastic toys that were made in China.

In conclusion, if you do have such a party, despite the fact that the party package includes the assistance of a "party planner" (who, in all seriousness will ROCK), you didn't have to clean your house before or after the kids came over or even make food to feed the kids and their parents, you will still be more exhausted than your children who ran their silly little heads off all afternoon long without a nap. And your evening will require burritos to be picked up on the way home (cuz you probably would have only had time to eat one slimy piece of pizza while you ran around and took pictures of everything and everybody) and probably about three beers.

That is all.


Jess said...

What perfect timing you have! I am literally in the midst of planning a 3-year-old's birthday a'la Chuck E Cheese that is scheduled for less than a month from now. Tips read & applied as appropriate :)


R.L.Scovens said...

Ha Ha! I think you learned alot!!LOL

Kim said...

Chunkie Cheese.. the place gives me nightmares.. i could smell the slimy pizza .. all tips noted.. hope the burritos where good ... :)


Anglophile Football Fanatic said...

We had mine's 3rd there. We did it on a Tuesday at 4pm to avoid ANYONE else ruining our festivities. And, it worked well. Don't forget to check out the giveaways at my place this week.

Roger said...

I used to be one of those planners at Chuck E Cheeses, only when I did it we had to wear clown costumes. It was fun. Too bad they closed that store, otherwise I would have grown up to own something like twenty of them and would be siiting fat and happy, with money in my bank account. As opposed to now where I am still sitting fat(most definitely) and happy, just sans the money part. :)

I hate goodie bags, and whoever thought that they would be a good idea.

Heather said...

I was going to do this for my daughter this year, but we wound up with a modest gathering at home with family. I think we'll probably go just for fun in a couple of week. She'd have a great time.