Saturday, May 9, 2009

My own personal hell

Mommy's "Win of the Week" is on hold this week simply because this rant was assaulting my brain and I needed to get it out. I hope you understand that Momma needs the therapy. Come back next week when I'll have more good stuff for you. I promise. 'kay? Thanks. Bye!

I've decided that the worst possible punishment you could ever force upon another human being is to make them take two small boys shoe shopping.

OK, scratch that. Three small boys would be worse.

No, wait. Four.

No - FIVE. Oh man...five small boys in a shoe store? MADNESS.

If you are a mother to five small boys and you've ever taken them shopping at the same time, please know you are my personal hero and a verifiable GODDESS. Seriously.

Ahem. As I was saying...

At about this EXACT time last year (almost down to the DAY - holy crap!), I had the immense joy of taking my kids shoe shopping. So lets hope I can keep finding cute shoes for them online so as to keep this a once a year experience.

Cuz um, hello, Mr. Shoe Maker People? Uh, yeah - little boys need shoes as much as little girls do. And if you're only going to give us five options for tennis shoes (as compared with the 25 options for girls) YOU'D BETTER NOT MAKE ALL BUT ONE OF THEM WHITE.

And the single pair that's NOT white? Don't cover them in Cars characters or Spiderman or heaven help me - Handy freakin' Manny.

And for the love of God and all the holy freakin' ANGELS AND SAINTS don't make them cost $34.

Cuz they will fit my two year old for approximately two weeks.

We started at a shoe store cuz, well, we thought they'd have the most options. Of shoes.

DUR. They didn't.

Then, sans stroller, we headed to the mall across the street.

Cuz I'm crazy like that. I even told Nick that we were going all buck wild without a stroller. He was like, "Mommy, what's 'butt wild'?" I think I may have said, " said BUTT..." but I'm no longer sure. I think I may have blocked out part of my day.

Four stores later I decided that $24 for a pair of tennies that are half a size too big for Will was a decent compromise (you know - so they'd fit him for three weeks - and holy freaking jam on toast the poor kid was wearing shoes that are a SIZE AND A HALF TOO SMALL FOR HIM!!!) and that Nick didn't really need dress shoes or semi-dressy loafers or hell, even tennies that kinda looked nice cuz we sure as hell couldn't find them.

Crikey. Where the hell is Steve Irwin when you need him to find those long lost, elusive -- oh, yeah. Sorry. RIP Steve-O.

So, fam, when you see my kids tomorrow, take in their cute summer hair cuts, their semi-matching polos and clean cords and/or khakis and just stop there.

Cuz they may be freakin' barefoot.


Tara R. said...

The good news is that when they get older they will have all these fabulous skater shoes to pick from, all geared toward boys. Bad news is that they will cost out the ying/yang and they will still out grow them before they out last them.

Rant on sista friend!

NicEmMOM said...

sorry hun! Wish I could help! I know what you mean about girls stuff -v- boys, when we go shopping for presents it is a pain the the "butt" (see I said Butt too!)

Anonymous said...

"holy freaking jam on toast" PRICELESS.

And, um, yeah. I refuse to do the show shopping. I wait until my mom comes out to visit and have her do it.

Anonymous said...

I've only had the pleasure of one boy at a time and that is bad enough. At least boys don't do that 'can't decide' thing that I've seen girls do. Mine couldn't care less what they wear most of the time.

Secret Mom Thoughts said...

My daughter is older. When I had my son I couldn't believe how bad the section for shoes and clothes were for boys. I wish they made more. Feel free to rant anytime that's what the blog is for, right?

Jenni Jiggety said...

It is a HUGE pain to find decent boys shoes. I have decent luck at the Stride Rite outlet...

Karen MEG said...

Selection for boys whether it be shoes, clothes... and onto when they become men is CRAP! Excuse my french. And as you've pointed out, the nicer stuff costs an arm and a leg. The cheaper stuff falls apart before they outgrow them. Sigh.

Well, the boy now, is getting into some better footwear, Converse, Vans... you know, stuff that I will occasionally try to wear when he's not looking (yes, I can wear his shoes and he just turned NINE!!!)

Hang in there...

and Happy Mother's Day, friend ;)

Denise said...

You're not jokin, sister!

Tried buying sandals for my little guy last week, and there were about 4 pairs of toddler boy styles and about 25 girls styles. Oh, and 3 out of the 4 boys ones were light up or had characters on them, when I was just looking for a nice brown pair to wear to "good occasions" in the summer. Sheesh!

I've resorted to going around town, buying several different styles and sizes of shoes, bringing them home, trying them all on my little guy, and then returning all of the pairs we don't want. Sound like a pain? Maybe, but not nearly as painful as actually bringing the bugger shopping with me!

Kim H. said...

I agree with Ms. Jiggety -- I've had good luck at our Stride Rite outlet. Want me to make a run for you? Lemme know their sizes.

And the best line in that whole post -- "Handy freakin' Manny!" -- I'm sorry. I busted up, cause I'm sorry, like you, I hate all that cheesy crap!

Buffie said...

Wow! Guess I'm lucky I have a girl.

I did notice a decent selection of boy shoes at Nordstrom Rack. They have the boy and girl shoes mixed together and I actually had to dig through the boy shoes to find some for my daughter. Their stores are hit or miss though, just a little warning.

Tami said...

You are SOOOO right. I take my 9yo boy shopping and pray the one pair they have in his size are acceptable to him. (Luckily he doesn't care much.) My 2yo boy has 1 pair of shoes - I can't find any more in his size. They have baby sizes and bigger kids sizes and girl shoes but NOTHING in his size?!? Are they just always sold out? Now my 4 & 6yo girls - I could buy shoes for them every day (and they wish I would.)