Monday, July 20, 2009

"The Method", part 2

So...I've been spilling all the thoughts that are flip-flopping around inside my crazy head, and generally over-sharing about my family's plans to re-write the rat race, but while my last post was called "There's a method to my madness", there's a lot that wasn't said.*

I fully realize that while I SAY I want to be at home with my kids, a few facts are evident:

1) On day 4 of my "early retirement" I will most likely go half out of my mind with the task of having to entertain small, logic-defying people all day long. I will also most likely smell really bad due to lack of showerage and having worn the same pair of yoga pants for more than half a week.

B) By day 10, I will most likely forget how to converse with adults and begin trying to be witty at parties with jokes such as "Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Pickle." "Pickle who?" "Pickle rides on a bicycle!!!" after which I will laugh at my own joke so hard that I'll make others question if maybe that wasn't the funniest joke on the face of the planet and they just don't get it.

iii) By day 37, I will most likely lose my self-identity altogether when I order business cards that say "Nick & Will's Mommy!" on them. I may also engage the check-out girls at the grocery store with what I think are interesting anecdotes about my life.**

D) My home will quickly become, quite literally, the poor house. Or the loony bin. Or both.

So I've realized that even though I won't have an "away from home" job, I can (and will need to) keep working. There are a lot of things that I really like to do and hope others will see I have talent for them. So as to be completely ready and actually making some money by the time I leave my 9-5, I've started some of these now:

1) Start another site/blog that has a clearly identifiable audience, on which I can sell ad space.

2) Begin offering Web design services for bloggers. Check, check and check. (NOTE: I can do work for BOTH Blogger and Wordpress. Aha - I am so flexible! Design on this 3rd site is still in progress. Its a "shoemaker's children" type of thing.)

3) Become a real writer. THIS I can do. Even if both of the above fail miserably, I can write. I just need to get to know some other real writers. Check, check and check.

Others, I haven't started on, but can resort to if worse comes to worse.

There's always Tupperware.

*Yeah, I is that POSSIBLE?!?
**Oh wait. I do that now.

And you can totally hire me now. ;-)

The early bird gets the "I don't want to work" special.

Operators are standing by.

And by operators, I mean me.

Miss Cleo: "CAWL ME NOW!"


Jenni Jiggety said...

Sounds like a plan, girl!!!

NicEmMOM said...

you are funny!

Secret Mom Thoughts said...

Sounds like a good plan. I love your blog design and totally would pay you to do my design.

Kim H. said...

Okay, love the review blog design! It looks awesome -- and I need to start going over there because tonight I discovered even more similarities between us.

I hit the Children's Place sale right before our trip -- and completely rocked the store. I got some super sweet deals -- I even went back for some "stock up" items.

I love, love, love BAKER'S SQUARE! I grew up on BS (ha! ha! BS -- get it? Funny!!!)

Anywho, growing up in our house we celebrated birthdays with pies -- never cake. And whenever I'm home I always gotta get me some pie. I love pie!

Okay, enough about pie.

You rock!

Melisa with one S said...

Didn't you get the memo? You blog, so you're a writer. :)

See you tomorrow night!

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

I bet your plan will pan out and NOT require new business cards or overworn yoga pants.
Really? You won't sell Tupperware TOO?

Roger said...

I wish I had your planning skills, then I wouldn't have to be at a job I really don't like, doing what I really do, which is like you (only not as good)and write.

Just think of all the new friends you are going to meet while dropping the kids off at school and stuff. It's awesome! Slight sarcasm there, I know, but when I was involuntarily unemployed, I met them all. Good times, good times!