Tuesday, June 21, 2011

“A person often meets his destiny on the road he took to avoid it.”

~ Jean de La Fontaine

When I was pregnant with Nicholas, I read all the baby books. I made lists of baby names and registered for every onesie, wipe warmer and bouncy seat I thought we'd need. I painted his room and hung a wallpaper border, got a used dresser and a new ceiling fan and painted those to match. I went to every required pre-natal doctor's appointment and attended childbirth classes, as you do.

Despite all those efforts, I completely ignored the part in childbirth class where they covered what happens when you have a c-section.

I mean, what were the odds that was going to happen to me?

Well it did. (Twice.)

Sometimes, no matter what you think is going to happen with your life...despite your best efforts for the contrary...things go differently than you'd have planned.

My husband and I are getting a divorce.

This is a long time coming, after many years of...you know what? I'm going to leave it at that. Simply know that I draw many parallels between the preparations for my children's births and the way they actually entered the world and my marriage. If you know me personally, I'd be happy to share with you the details, but for the majority of my readers, you need only understand that it wasn't a decision arrived at lightly, or quickly. I spent a long time agonizing over the stigma I felt internally at the prospect of being a single Mom...of being divorced...of possibly letting my family down.

Obviously, no matter the way they were born, I ended up with two healthy, happy, amazingly smart and wonderful little boys. And hopefully, over the next few months or years I'll rediscover an equal number of positive traits about myself and my life.

I already feel as if I'm on the cusp of something great.

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