Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Let's take a look at that ol' list...

So last week I talked about my need to get more organized with lists. This week's big project from that master list? I moved all the toys furniture in the boys' room and vacuumed those corners that don't get love cleaned ever on a regular basis.

The problem with projects like this? They make my boys instantly interested in whatever it is that I'm doing.

It didn't matter that I put Cars in the DVD player. Usually that's my ticket to at least eight minutes of freedom. Sippy cups full of chocolate milk? Should have bought me another three.

So I started my cleaning adventure (cuz that's when it ended up being) by picking up all the toys and putting them away. Cue Nick in the doorway.

"Mom. William pinched me."

"So go sit on the other couch."

"But he needs a time out."

"Honey, he's 16 months old. He's too little for time outs. If you move to the other couch and he goes over there to pinch you again, then let me know."

Toys picked up. I slide Nick's bed away from the wall. Cue crying.

I turn around and walk the 12 feet into the living room.

"What's going on?"

"He pinched me again and I pushed him."

"Did you sit on the other couch like I told you to?"


"Then go take a time out for hurting your brother and not listening to Mama."

I soothe Will and give him a book. This gives me another three minutes -- just enough time to pick up the 14 stray socks, 5 matchbox cars, 3 Lego's and various balls and broken toys that were hiding under the bed -- and turn on the vacuum cleaner, only to hear: "MOM!"

I turn it off. "WHAT?!?"

"Can I come out of time out now?"

"Yes. Now go sit over there," pointing to couch away from where Will is sitting, pulling all of the wipes out of the box, "and leave your brother alone."

Kids restored to original starting positions. Wipes put back into container. I go back and vacuum a strip the size of my son's toddler bed, then turn the vacuum off again. Hey - their room is small...there's only so much you can do before you have to move furniture again.

I push Nick's bed back to where it was and start to put clean sheets on it when I realize its a bit too quiet. I slowly turn around. No kids to be seen.

Now, the gate is up, restricting them to the living room only. What the heck?!?

"Nick? Will?" I hear giggling. They're sitting in their closet, which is the second place I look, knowing they've hidden there before. They must have sneaked past me in the 14.5 seconds I was vacuuming. Fine. Whatever floats your boat, children. Play in the closet, I don't care.

So I put sheets on the bed, vacuum the rest of the room and begin to pull Will's crib away from the wall. I hear crying from within the closet. Turns out they were fighting over who's turn it is to sit in the chair that's (for some reason or another) in the closet. Instead of explaining to my three-year-old that you can't reason with a toddler, I quickly realize what an exercise in futility that would be, and just tell them to go back to their movie.

Crib moved, totes that reside under the crib stacked on other son's bed, cue crying.


"Oh my God, WHAT?"

I see that Will is red in the face he's crying so hard. He's been hurt.

"What did you do?!?"

Nick looks at the floor, knowing he's in trouble. "I jumped on him."

"YOU WHAT?!? WHERE?" I immediately pick him up and move his arms and legs and look for bumps. I begin to imagine internal bleeding. What is it you're supposed to do again? Don't let them go to sleep? Make them throw up? Then I have a moment of clarity, realizing that there is only a 5 lb. difference between my boys. The little ruffian can probably hold his own pretty well.

I ask Nick again, who's murmured an answer to my question in a language FAR other than English. "Where did you land on him?"

He waves his little hand in a big flourish. "I land on his whole body."

Oh.My.God. Don't laugh. Whatever you do, send that child away before he sees you fighting that smile.

"Go take a time out in your bed." He walks away - Will's tears have already begun to subside by this point, so I know it isn't as major as it originally seemed. I start to shake my head, realizing how dumb I was to try and clean something major while I was outnumbered.

I put Will down to go pick up my "cleaning" in the boys' room - I'll work on it another day - and laugh out loud.

There is my lovely three-year-old, lying in his bed, just like I told him to.

Squeezed into a 3" wide space, next to all the totes I'd stacked so I could vacuum.


P.S. He loves you... said...

*giggling* I so feel your pain~ hand in there it will be done before you know it, the house work that is!

Great tackle sharing!

P.S. He loves you... said...


Anonymous said...


Melissa said...

Too funny! That whole scene happens every day here with Gavin and Katelyn!! And where do they get the idea to jump on their sibling??? Gavin has started jumping on Katelyn too, and she laughs about it!!

Suzie said...

Too funny. I love the pride he took with jumping on his brothers whole body.

Sonya said...

LOL! How funny!

Happy2bme said...

Funny story!!

Don Mills Diva said...

Mama always said there'd be days like this...:-)

Marni Tiani Self said...

Not that you did anything wrong, but I started both of my kids on timeouts about that age. It was only one minute, but it was more principle. It worked.

And the body jumping... O.M.G.

William jumped into Rawni's FACE the other day. No kidding, off the couch, both feet her in face. I turned my head the other way thinking OWIE!! She never cried, so I didn't baby her, but I did explain to William that was unacceptable.

THopgood said...

And yet you still feel the need to spend more time at home...LMAO! Are you sure?? I'm mean, are you REALLY sure??!!

Jessie said...

LOL, what a day! I feel your pain....I can't even get my teeth brushed without 700 interruptions! :)

Karen said...

What a day! Here is mine.

lovelylalo said...

OMG girlie, this made me laugh. You describe things in a way that I could never put into words. Just look forward to the days when they are 9 & 12 (like mine) and they help you with those tasks-and still jump on each other!

Too cute!

Beth Nixon said...

I was laughing through your whole post (because, well, I've been there) but it was the last visual . . . of him squeezed into the little space on his bed that had me spewing water out my nose!!

Thanks for sharing like only a mommy can!

morninglight mama said...

Aah, yes, the joys of doing housework in the presence of little ones. Very fun read!

Anonymous said...

Add me to the list of 'me-too's'

That was so funny mainly because It is exactly what goes on in my house - except there is 9 years between mine but it doesn't stop the squabbling.

Next time give them that box we all have - you know the one where you throw all the toys - wheels, arms, indie hats etc etc when you are clearing floor space and tell them to sort out all the broken bits. That will keep them amused for hours as they will find things they'd forgotten about.

It's the clearing out THAT box that becomes a problem!


Kelly said...

I love how kids can't stand to be next to eachother or apart from eachother either. Mine are almost 6 and 9 and still can't keep their hands to themselves.

Kelly - PTT said...

We need to laugh at these days, don't we! Or we might go off the deep end. I think it's great when we can see the humor in our kids' antics.

Great post.

Sarah said...

Thank you for sharing - it gives me something else to look forward to with my girls. It's good to be able to laugh at these things!

Natalie said...

cute cute cute! and he was so good to obey you at the end.

i can't tell you how many times i have had to stifle laughter when my kids do stuff they shouldn't do, but is so totally funny.

Reluctant Housewife said...

Oh yes. I've been there. Great post!

texasholly said...

hahaha. I love it. I can just see him following your directions on the last 3 inches left on his bed. Too cute!

Thanks so much for linking today!

Tamra said...

How is it that kids can be so infuriating and then so doggone cute - almost at the same time?!
Too funny!

Mekhismom said...

I love how he squeezed onto the bed. Funny.

Valarie said...

This is so funny!

"I land on his whole body" I love that part!

dddiva said...

I'm sorry, I shouldn't be laughing- my girls always said we're scuffling mommy it's how we BOND!. Since none are dead or in jail, I guess they might be right.

jubilee said...

Too funny.

My seven year old likes to jump on my four year old in just the same way. We once thought he'd broken Whirling Dervish's rib. Now we laugh, but then we kinda freaked.

Elaine A. said...

Thanks for typing up what I did today (seriously close!) ; )