Stream of (un)consciousness

It was a weekend of eating crap. If you read my last post, you have some idea of the junk I've eaten this weekend. Add to it brats and more pizza today and you have some idea as to why I'm sitting up at ten after 11 p.m. when at 7:30 I was asleep on the couch watching Wizard of Oz.

I love that movie. I love that TBS plays it every year about this time. Nick loves it, and even remembers watching it last year. We cuddled under a blanket in our PJs watching it tonight, where he whispered to me, "Mama, I like this movie." He's nearly four now, so I know the days left of cuddling together and watching Wizard of Oz are few. He smelt like candy and baby soap. I also know the days of baby soap will come to an end soon, too.

In fact, we bought "big boy" shampoo at Target last week. The lavender scented Johnson & Johnson's is just about gone, and while we browsed the shelf, he found the Suave Kids Shampoo/Body Wash and asked if we could get that instead. I said, "How 'bout we get this kind?" holding up the J&J. To which he replied, "Mom, that's for babies."

A-ha. Point taken. Little does he know that the Suave Kids Shampoo/Body Wash may no longer smell like lavender (it smells like watermelon) - but its still tear free. I guess I'm OK with that. He argued with me a bit when I explained that Will would be using it, too ("MOM! But its for BIG KIDS! See? Says right here," he exclaimed, pointing to the portion of the bottle where it said it was hypoallergenic.) but then I reminded him that Will wants to do everything he does simply because he's the big brother, and that he thinks Nick is so cool and he reconsidered. "I can let him use it. But we have to be careful." Um, of what, dear heart?

I could go on and on with the examples of how he's growing up - I could relay the 15-minute conversation we had this morning after he crawled into our bed. He began by telling me he was going to marry the dog, then it was the dog and our friends' two girls. I explained that you can only marry people, and in addition, you could only marry one person that you loved, and he sighed loudly. "But Mom, I love LOTS of people."

Oh, my sweet boy. Its so bittersweet to see you grow up so quickly, and to know that there are things (and people) in this world that could jade you...that could make you think that love isn't real...that could make you think you might never love anyone ever again. And at the same time, I can't and won't protect you from all of that - I can only teach you to be the kind of person who can make sense out of what comes.