Friday, April 25, 2008

Flashback Friday No. 7 - 1999


Tonight we're gonna party like it's 1999...

Gotcha singin' it now, don't I?

First off...if you see the placeholder copy at the top where I plan to put my photos tomorrow, come back and check them out in the morning. I promise you, they're mushy cute the way only photos of single couples on vacation together can be.

Second...I don't claim to "own" this Flashback idea. MANY many people out there in blogger land have done great flashback posts (Like this one by Melissa. Go read it - its a great post. Then come back here.) and I meant in no way to try and "overtake" the meme. I just was thinking, "Wow, this is a great idea. Someone should get one of those Mr. Linky things and some pretty little graphics and we could all play along and hold hands and sing kumbaya." So, if you play along somewhere else and happen to come upon this post as well, hey - link up, play along. We're nice here. In fact, the rules to my version of FF are pretty vague on purpose; just write something about your past that's affected your life today. Whether that was leaving your job two years ago or the birth of your children 22 years ago - who you were affects who you are. Or post funny photos. That's good, too.

Third...I have created some flashback graphics. Feel free to grab any you like or make your own. If you do make new ones, let me know and I will link to your post so others can find them. I said above this thing really has no rules. But I got an idea in my head this week that I just love and think that most of us can play along with. For the first time ever, I'm suggesting a theme for next week's (May 2nd) post - dig out and dust off a wedding photo. A pic of just you, of you and the new spouse, or of whatever part of your wedding you want. No matter whether that day was 50 years or 5 days ago. Not married? Don't want to play along with the theme? That's OK, too. Still link up with whatever Flashback story you wish to tell. (On Tuesday, April 29 I plan to participate in the "How I Met My Honey" carnival over at Ramblings by Reba and thought these two things would go hand in hand.)

So, without further ado, my "1999" story. A-hem.
If you'd like to read the two Flashbacks leading up to this story, read them here and here.

At the start of 1999 I celebrated my 21st birthday. What a year to turn "legal"! Regardless as to whether December 31, 1999 was or was not the last day of the milennium, people certainly partied like it was. I remember hearing the Prince song when I was in grade school and doing the math to figure out that I would be 21 in 1999.

New Years Day of 1999, however (almost a full year before the Great New Years) my boyfriend and I moved back to the Milwaukee area from Green Bay. There were some trouble getting the keys to our new place, but all of our old friends showed up en masse (bribed with the promise of free beer and pizza - did I mention we were 21?) to help us move. We finally got the keys and just as we started unloading boxes from the moving truck it began to snow.

No worries, right? Well, we had more than a few people, and unloading that truck and hauling it all up the stairs to our second floor apartment took only a few hours. But by the time we were ready to order the pizza, we had trouble finding a place that would still make the trip out to deliver! Persistance paid off and after many slices and many beers, it seemed we had some unexpected overnight guests - not due to the beer, but due to the snow!

That evening we were hit with a storm that dumped more than 14" of snow on the area. In the morning, our friends were finally able to make their way home but we were left with an empty 25' moving truck to return! I'll sum it up by saying I'm glad that falls under "man's work". Several hours later after many close calls with the ditch and it was delivered safely.

Most of the rest of 1999 was made up of partying with friends. Our apartment was the "given" place to hang out on Friday nights. At one point we stopped inviting people and they just continued to show up. I remember a few Friday nights where our "usual" cast of characters seemed to all have other plans only to have friends of friends stop by - my boyfriend and I always had a good time!

We still bickered constantly. He would get jealous when I did things without him, and I would get jealous when he went out without me. (Remember back to those days? Aah...good times...good times...) It was ridiculous when I think back on it now, but back then, it was perfectly acceptable to ruin our evening or the evening of our friends to argue over who said what and who flirted with whom...blah blah blah...we continued this cycle of great times/great bitch fests for quite some time.

It wasn't until sometime in 2000 that I had my "a-ha" moment. A strange moment of clarity when I just all of a sudden grew up. I realized that this guy that I'd known for so long, who I'd been dating for nearly four years really was very good to me. When we stopped bickering long enough to realize it, that is. We never really had any real reason to fight with each other. It was all stupid, meaningless stuff. Who started the last argument, or who wasn't being thoughtful enough of the other. Just dumb.

I all of a sudden realized that I'd rather be the one to back down - to "lose face" - and have a cute, funny, honest, loving, respectful man than continue to be right and be without him.

Because I wasn't really right. Neither of us were.

And in the end, once I backed down and ended the argument by just saying, "You know, I just don't care. I love you, and I would rather [insert fun, couple activity here] than argue about this any more." He did it, too.

Yes, amazing folks. THAT was the secret to the problems we'd been having. Giving in. Admitting that there is a bigger picture and that what we'd thought was such a big deal really wasn't.

And do you know, that EIGHT years after this "a-ha" moment, we still don't really fight? Yes, we have our moments where stress gets the better of us. But we talk about what bothers us. And sometimes, if either of us really doesn't agree with what's bothering the other, well, then we just let it be OK that emotion rules us sometimes. We don't always have to make sense.

And yes, I married the silly bastard.

More flashbacks to come!



Marni Tiani Self said...

That little answering machine lingo above is way cute.

I totally wanted to go back to your page the other day but couldn't remember how to find you.

From this moment on, you are so on my blogroll.

I'll check back tomorrow for the pic. I need to do a Flashback Friday... soon. :)

Rebecca said...

Yay! I'm glad you're going to participate in "How I Met My Honey." I'm also planning on an "Our Wedding Day" carnival on May 19. Maybe some people will just "link in" using the photos from your theme week. Way fun! :)


Suzie said...

Thats a great revelation and an important one.

Jenny said...

Urgh, moving days are almost always crazy. I think that's the rule.

I love your story today. Hopefully more couples will be inspired and will do the same!

The Apron Queen said...

Sweet story. Thanks for reminding me to just let things go sometimes.