Monday, August 4, 2008

Why I blog

A new bloggie friend of mine, Rachel, recently wrote about why she blogs.

Now, normally, if people ask me, I say I blog because I need an outlet for the frustrations of every day working mommyhood. And that's not a lie. Sometimes there are days like this that only you other mommies would truly understand.

But if that were truly the only reason, then why would I feel so ecstatic when I get 40 comments on a picture of my son? Why am I so hooked on social networking? Why do I feel near-panic if I'm offline for more than a day at a time?

Another new bloggie friend, the Nap Warden, recently wrote about a crappy comment she received, in which the writer felt "blogging=narcissism." Thankfully, I've yet to receive my first "hate comment" but what I'm going after by mentioning this post is that I guess, to a certain extent, we all need some validation now and again, right? We need that little "yes, you are important enough that other people will read about your life." We all need that little, "yes, your kids are cute and funny and smart." We all need a little, "gawd, I've been there, too!" And there's nothing to be ashamed of in that.

And for me? I guess I need the luhve I get from bloggy land because I'm lonely! Here I am, a thirty-year-old working professional. I work in a big tall building downtown and have my own fancy office. I own a home and am financially very stable. I have a wonderful husband and I've always been blessed with a lot of real life friends. But in reality, there are very few of them that have kids the same ages as mine. And those that do? Well, all this working and mommy-ing and geez...being spouses to our husbands sorta gets in the way of all those girl nights we envision. In those months between one girl-date and another, I need a touch of that happiness that can only come from girlfriends. The giggling, the jokes about inappropriate things, the giving of small gifts called comments to let one another know we are appreciated.

When we became parents nearly four years ago, the Hubster and I made the conscious decision that we would both stay home with our kids, which for those of you who don't know, means we work opposite shifts. We each get a lot of one-on-one time with our kiddos, which is great, but we don't get a lot of time with each other. There are a lot of "passing in the night parking lot" kisses and, uh, that's about it.

Not only is it hard to constantly be without your spouse (giving major props to Army/Navy/Marine wives right now) but its also hard to have to do everything by yourself with two little kids. Don't get me wrong here, I subscribe to the "if you make your expectations known to children, they'll learn how to behave" school of thought, as in, if you take them to church or out to eat regularly, they will be more accustomed as to how they should behave in those places. And my kids are very good. But its still tiring to lug two small kids in and out of stores (and thus, in and out of car seats in between each trip). At the end of the day, arranging a play date with a friend and their kids just seems even more tiring!

So what do I do? I read other blogs and comment. I put my feet up and plurk, or twitter, or check out the scene on Cre8buzz. Its like chatting with friends while your kids play, but without worrying that someone's eating play dough or trying to climb the curtains. And without having to clean the house first.

I might not blog for the deepest of reasons but there my reasons none-the-less. There are plenty of days when I still just need to get a little mommy stress off my chest and others when I just want to share cute pics of my kids with the world.

Why do *you* blog?

22 comments:

R.L.Scovens said...

Your reason for blogging doesn't have to be deep.LOL We all blog for different reasons. I'm really amazed at the wonderful people I've been able to meet while blogging!

Rachel said...

THank you for linky love hon.
I loved reading this and although everyone's reasons are different, there is a common thread of community, love, family and sharing that runs deep in us all.
And yes, comments are like crack :-)
Thank you for writing this and for saying that I inspired you.
Big hugs and plurk love!! :-)
XOXO
Rachel

Kaytabug said...

"Its like chatting with friends while your kids play, but without worrying that someone's eating play dough or trying to climb the curtains. And without having to clean the house first."

EXACTLY!!! Great post!! I also enjoy the validation and others telling me I'm not alone in this or that. Like Rachel said the community, love and the friendships I have developed. The SUPPORT! I think I could keep going, but I will stop!

Kristin H. said...

People who leave hateful comments are probably just hateful in general. Don't sweat it, sister. I like your line "small gifts called comments." That about sums it up.

And you are right. You can be surrounded by people and still feel very lonely. Even in our own homes. Blog away chica!

Cheryl Lage said...

What a thoughtfully composed post...

Initially, I began blogging to try to document moments that seemed to be way too fleeting...ones that at the end of a wonderful, but twin-exhaustion-induced day might be lost forever.

The anticipated side benefit would be that family and friends could tune in and see "what was up." The kids would also get to see how they've grown in a format far more extensive than their stats-centric (and admittedly ill-completed) baby books.

But like you, I have happily found inordinate, unexpected, borderline addictive camaraderie.

The hate comments? Icky, but try to let 'em go. Better someone use blog nastiness as an outlet for their clearly unhealthy anger than say kick a cat!

Glad to have yours as a blog that feels "right" to me!

crunchiemummy said...

That's a great post. I'm working on trying to finish up a similar one myself -- it seems to be the question of the day out there in the blogosphere right now, doesn't it?

THopgood said...

I posted my main reason for blogging a few days ago here:

http://thopgood-mylife.blogspot.com/2008/07/and-here-is-where-i-get-all-melancholy.html

But there are so many perks on top of that main reason and you summed it up beautifully! I've met so many wonderful and interesting women through this.

Sassy Mama Bear said...

Darling very valid and wonderful reasons to blog.

Nap Warden said...

Thanks for the linky love! You know why I blog...It's a great supportive group:)

Christy said...

I started blogging because I was lonely too. After we moved from KY to NJ, I began to feel depression creeping in. I started my blog, and found so many great friends. I even talk to a few of my bloggy friend on the phone now.

P.S. He loves you... said...

I used to "raz" my mom for interneting all the time and she would go off to some reunion to meet those "friends"...Now here I am and the funny thing is your more apt to share everything this way and if they whomever reads it likes it they stick around and if they don't well then NEXT please...truth is IMHO I want to meet others then what I have at home...where it's a quick "HI HOW ARE YOU" FINE ...AND Then that it till next time at the grocery store or even sometimes church...no real details and no time with kids, to just chill... So for a sahm who oftens climbs the walls with all the referringing I have done of late, this is a great outlet and WHY I BLOG! Now when's the reunion so my mom can razz me!

Tom said...

Sometimes we all just need an outlet. Doesn't always matter who, just someone, anyone, that will listen without judging. Its amazing how lonely we feel at times, even when surrounded by others, because we know that they don't understand or really aren't listening. Sometimes when the clouds are darkest in our lives, the rays of sunshine that peek through are that much brighter. Your blog is sunshine Colleen. Love it. Keep up the good work.

Tara@From Dawn Till Rusk said...

really love that you are so open and honest about this. I love to comment because I am basically a nosey person with a lot to say for myself. I think it's great when a good discussion gets going and anyway, I find reading other bloggers' posts a great read, great for advice and it makes me feel I'm not actually as crazy or neurotic as I think!

Earthmommy said...

I really enjoy your blog, and I blog for the very same reasons! I was so thrilled to hear another mom say that scheduling playdates is hard and not always worth it. I think all moms need that close mom girlfriend feedback and what better way to get it than in the comfort of your home messy or not?

Rebecca Ramsey said...

Super post! We all need connections with other people who are living our same lives-or something close to it-and this is a great way to do it!
Great job!

Spice said...

I've gotten a few nasty comments in the 3 years I've been blogging. And I try not to let it get to me - obviously the person leaving the nasty comment has some issues they need to work through. ;) I love blogging though and I've met some great people through blogs. :) http://spiceworld.us

Don Mills Diva said...

You don't have to justisfy why you blog. When peoplae say it's nascissistic I always wonder what's so bad about that? Wht's so bad about wanting attention? Don't we all? Isn't blogging a pretty harmless "cry for attention?"

Mrs4444 said...

Blogging has opened up a whole new world for me; maybe it's not a "real" world...maybe all of my Buzz girlfriends are really men posing as women (as my husband jokes), but I'm really loving it. Bloggyland is my home away from home... :)

Karen MEG said...

I'm just glad that you do.

Because I found you, and I think you're pretty great.

No need to explain Colleen... we totally GET it.

Kim H. said...

Colleen~

That was an awesome post! I so get you girl! And yep, if I lived in Milwaukee or you in Columbus, WE'D BE FRIENDS and have coffee and do other fun girly stuff! For now, we'll just be FOTI! :)

k.

rockanddrool said...

i blog to meet awesome people like you!! and...i have nothing better to do when my kids are at school. like, what am i going to do? clean? do laundry? bwahahahhahhahahaha...er...yeah, that too.
i love the whole thing about blogging. it's so addictive that it's crazy. i drive my family and rl friends insane when i talk about my blog and blog friends. but...it's all good because...i'm having a good time!!
xo,
your new blog stalker...er...friend :)

Heather said...

I started blogging as a means to keep family and friends updated with my progress when I was pregnant. Now I do it for a lot of the same reasons you do. I love connecting with other women and sharing experiences of motherhood.