Thursday, October 7, 2010

Hodge Podge

This week has been another tough one. Like, where did the time GO?

Nick was sick the other night. I got up with him four times. Sitting on a tiny stool in the dark in the bathroom, listening to him cry about how much his tummy hurt was miserable. It reminded me of the days when he was a newborn -- except even in his earliest days I don't think he was ever up four times in one night. And back then he didn't cry that he wanted his Daddy, making me feel both inept and miserable. We called Daddy instead, at 1:30 in the morning, but he was on his way to a call and couldn't talk long.

True to little boy form, he was back to his old self half way through the day on Tuesday. I called in to work -- which I almost never do -- Jay has almost always been around during the day for dealing with sick kids. This week, though, he was due to be "helping parent" in Will's 3K class after that overnight shift, meaning that he had to sleep sometime. So instead I stayed home, and let Nick choose which movie we cuddled up to watch while Jay and Will did the 3K thing. We watched the original Star Wars. It was pretty darn near perfect.

That's the killer thing about being a working parent. Obviously, you can't be all things to all people. So either you're the parent who gets up with sick kids in the middle of the night or the one who's up early in the morning to head to work. Its nice, sometimes, to get to be the parent on the other side.

Another of my cousins is getting married this weekend. I bought myself a new dress (yay BlogHer discount!) and new shoes. I pulled out both pairs of boys' dress shoes and made sure each boy had a pair that fit. I pulled out the 3T pants we bought Will for the weddings in June and made sure they still fit. I was ready to make a short list of stuff I still needed (paint my nails, pick up a new lipstick, pick up new sucky-in-Grandma-panties) when I realized -- Nick didn't have anything to wear at all. He's worn a tuxedo to the past few weddings. That left me with one option -- take both boys to Kohl's (I had $50 in Kohl's cash to spend - holla!) and get him to try some stuff on.

Utter nightmare.

There was exactly one rack of dress shirts and pants for boys in his size. Right next to the display of t-shirts that came with dinosaurs. And a direct view away from a display of baby toys. It didn't matter that they were for babies -- just that they were more interesting than looking at dress clothes. And that my children could lie on the floor in front of the display for reasons unknown to me.

It took all the patience I had to wrestle that boy into trying on a few dress shirts. Then I mentally tortured myself over choosing just the right tie, all while he could have cared less if I dressed him in a burlap sack. But the job is done and DANG IT we're all going to look nice.

Nick came home with a few things in his backpack yesterday that struck me with a wave of...sadness, I guess is the right word for it. His starting all-day kindergarten wasn't too hard on me. We've had a few rounds of practice. When he was three he did the same two-day a week, two-hour a day preschool program that Will is doing now. When he was four, he started out the school year in a 4K class, three hours a day, Monday through Friday. When we moved, there was no 4K program in our new school district, and it was clear over time that he was missing it and was ready to go back. Now he's in an all-day kindergarten, five days a week, and while he often comes home so ugly, attitude-wise that I sometimes threaten to have gypsies come pick him up and take him away, its clearly the right place for him. He's unbelievably smart and comes home with new skills every day, telling us stories about the kids who got into trouble.

But yesterday I opened his backpack and saw two things --
1) His very first school pictures. Ohmygod. He's like, a real KID now. You know? I mean, that's dumb. But he's not a baby. Not a toddler. Not a preschooler. There is no other child category for him but KID. We are now officially in the realm of class birthday parties and after school sports and buying clothes without a "T" in the size...{sniff}...I don't know if I like it. I mean, I love it -- I love that he's growing up like he should be and we seem to be doing things right -- but I hate it. You know?

2) His very first order of Scholastic books. I used to LOVE getting those flyers from the teacher. I would take a pen and circle all of the books that I wanted. Then my Mom would laugh and select one or two. It was always so exciting to get those books that we'd ordered. I loved to read when I was little and I always talked my Mom into ordering a few. While I was looking through the new books at the kitchen table last night, Nick began to read one over my shoulder. He got angry when I tried to help him with a tough word. *Sigh.* Its just so...he just wants to be so independent, which I should have expected. He gets more like me every day.

Will is probably one of the best children on the planet with regard to sleep. If toddler sleeping were an Olympic sport, he'd be Shaun White. (He's even got the reddish hair.) He's one of those rare kids that will tell you when he's tired. If you suggest a nap, he most often will go, "OK!" and run to his room, asking for you to tuck him in. He even prefers his bed over sneaking into Mom and Dad's, and when I try and get him to come cuddle with me on Saturday mornings, he'll shout from the warmth of his covers that no, I should come to him instead.

On the odd nights when he cries or shouts that "ITS NOT TIME FOR SLEEPING YET!" he'll eventually be in his bed, under the covers, ready to ask God to bless his Rollie Fingers bobble-head. ("And God bless the dog, the cat, the Brewers and the Packers and all the other bobble-heads, too.") And then? He just goes right to sleep.

And then and then? He'll sleep until 9:00 in the morning if you let him.

I have so many things to write -- things I've promised other people, things I want to write for other people, and things I want to write about here. But there just isn't TIME. I just wish I could erase the guilt that comes along with those broken promises...or just learn not to make them in the first place. Life's just too busy and I don't want to miss out on things.

I've had the hiccups now for about an hour. All my typical remedies have failed. DANG IT.

I think that's about all the random things that are floating around in my head right now. Why is so little of it about me?


Cottongirl7 said...

It's so tough to be a working mom and always feel like you are missing out on something no matter where you are. I'm still able to stay home with my littl ones right now, but my time is running short. Not sure how I'll get through it. On another note, I love sending home the book orders to my class of kids for the same reason! I used to circle what I wanted and then hand it off to mom too. I got about 10% of what I would circle which was awesome. Finally, I am just a bit envious that your little man sleeps until 9am if you let him. My twins are up at 6:55 every morning no matter how much sleep they get the night before. Just once, 8am would feel soooooo good. :) Oh, and if you figure out how to fit more time in a day, let me know.

WeaselMomma said...

Random and busy. Take a mental break this weekend.

Marni's Organized Mess said...

Amen, sister! Where IS the time going?!

Sorry your little man was sick.

Totally understand on 'being on the other side is fun sometimes'. Robert was up last week for the first time in months. It was fun for a while, but then... The fun ran out. Ha!

Heather said...

I'm sorry you've had such a busy week! I hope this weekend will give you some time to recharge :)

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

Your cup overfloweth this week, doesn't it?