Tuesday, October 16, 2012
show time
There wasn't much that fit those criteria other than "Playing in the backyard."
Going to the movies or to a stage show was something very special -- typically reserved for birthday gifts from Grandma. (I remember crying once, hysterically, when we weren't in our seats for the opening strains of the theme song when going to see Sesame Street Live. Traumatic, yo.)
Which is why, when I take my kids to see a show, there is always a moment when I look over at their little faces, staring wide-eyed at the stage in the dark, and feel unbelievably lucky to have them and the opportunity to work something like that into our (somewhat) regular routine. It never fails to give me that sappy "I'm a good Mom" feeling.
Which is why I'm excited to get to surprise them with tickets to see Dreamworks How To Train Your Dragon Live Spectacular at the Bradley Center in Milwaukee next week.
No, I mean literally excited -- check out that dragon! There will be 23 of them, some with wingspans of up to 46 feet, Viking warriors and world-class acrobats, all performing against a state-of-the-art, wall-to-floor immersive projection measuring more than 20,000 square feet. Little boy (and geek Mama) heaven.
The show is playing at the BMO Harris Bradley Center in Milwaukee from October 25-28th, and I'm happy to be able to offer my readers 25% off any weeknight performance in any city (Friday nights included). Just enter the code MOM in the promo/special offer box. Perfect timing for those days off school next week!
I'll be sure to post some photos of our night out on the town after the show!
I was asked to write about the Dreamworks How To Train Your Dragon Live Spectacular in exchange for receiving tickets, but have you clicked over to see the video yet? SO COOL.
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Monday, November 29, 2010
Win tickets to see Disney Live! Mickey’s Rockin’ Road Show in Milwaukee
What a great way to take a little family break from holiday shopping, hey?
The winner will get four tickets to the 1:00 pm show on Sunday, December 5th. All you have to do is leave me a comment below telling me who your favorite Disney character is! (You can even log in using your facebook ID - just make sure I have a way to contact you or I'll have to pick a new winner.) This contest closes Thursday, December 2nd at noon central and I'll notify the winner that afternoon.
Good luck!
Friday, June 25, 2010
Monday, June 21, 2010
A giveaway, slacker-mom style
But not every pitch is exactly appropriate for me, and while I try to email a polite note back to those that are just a teensie bit off, I tend to ignore completely those that are SO FAR OFF from any product that I would ever use or need. (FYI folks - my kids are both potty trained. I do not wish to try your diapers. I live near Milwaukee, WI, so please don't offer to send me to see Elmo on Ice in Manhattan. And I'm sure your plastic cutlery is really very nice, but the amount of time it would take me to review the product and then write about it in such a way that I would not bore the hell out of my five readers just isn't worth the $3.89 worth of free product you'd be shipping me.)
HOWEVER...
Every so often I get a request that seems to be a good match. (See: Jewel concert. Also: Kodak Mother's Day cards.) Last fall I got a perfect match. AJ Wright was opening new stores all over the country, and they offered to send me to their new store in Racine for their grand opening event. I was treated to dinner, a shopping spree and a free digital video recorder on which to record photos or video of my shopping experience.
Of course I jumped on it. Who wouldn't? But honestly, this was just as we were selling our house. I figured I would write up my review after our move. Then we moved and I got sick. I got better and then there was a shake-up at work. One thing led to another and another and soon I had to dig to find the $50 gift card they gave me to give away on my blog.
ANYWAY...
Y'all know what AJ Wright is, right? Its like TJ Maxx (in fact, it is part of the TJX Companies) - it sells discounted name brand apparel and home decor items. Sometimes you have to dig to find what you need, but there's always something good if you can just be patient enough to find it.
And there are usually some really, um, interesting items you find while you're digging.
Case in point. Good find:
"Interesting" find:
I was lucky enough to find a really cute gray peacoat that I wore the HECK out of this past winter and some new underwear that I was waaay overdue for.
Its obvious that EVERY Mom could use a few more things for herself, so one lucky commenter will get the $50 gift card. Just tell me in the comments: what slacker mom things have you done this week? (Or slacker dad...slacker person, whatever.)
Make sure your email address is in your profile so that I can get the prize to you. You can look to see if AJ Wright has a location near you on their site here. I'll randomly select a winner this Friday at noon central time.
Oh, and Miss gets a free entry because she looks an awful lot like the PR girl who was at the event.
The PR Girl who looks an awful lot like Miss
Friday, August 7, 2009
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Its 5:00 somewhere (AND A GIVEAWAY!)
(Go count the numbers of cute outfits in your kids' drawers, then go count your own. Stuff that doesn't fit doesn't count. Go. See? They have more than you do, don't they? Told you.)
Its for this reason that I'm hosting a virtual Happy Hour...all week long.
I'm kicking off my week-long cocktail and shmooze-fest with a giveaway from Eden Fantasys.
Now, don't be shocked. There's a lot of good stuff over there - like these and this and this. Oooh! Or these, or this, or...did you ever wonder about this?
To enter, leave me a comment and tell me what fun thing you're doing for yourself this week. Gettin' your nails done? Hair cut? Drinks with friends?
The winner will be chosen randomly and will get a $25 gift certificate they can use for whichever adult toy or lingerie item they'd like. (You don't even have to tell me what you chose!)
You can also enter a second time by tweeting about the contest.
Sample:
@mommy_wins is having a happy hour giveaway sponsored by @edenfantasys - check it out! http://bit.ly/YVFAp #momshavefun
(You can add extra entries if you like for following @drewg78 and tweeting to him as well.)
I'll choose the winner on Friday evening around 7pm (central) while having a glass or two while chatting on Twitter. I hope you'll join me!
And come back every day this week for more "for Mom"!
Friday, May 8, 2009
Monday, May 4, 2009
GIVEAWAY! "Buy yourself a little somethin' somethin'..."
If you're a typical Mom, by now you've either bought Mother's Day gifts for your Mom and Mom-in-Law or have a plan as to what you're going to get for them. You've probably put a lot of thought into their gifts, and gotten juuuuust the right thing for each of them. (Or like me, for all four of them.)
And if you're a typical Mom, your husband probably won't think to get you anything until next Saturday.
Night.
At 10:30 p.m.
Either that or he'll have the kids (who are four and six, most likely) make you breakfast in bed, which will test your skills as an actress ("MMMM! This is SO GOOD!") and require you to spend three hours scrubbing God-knows-what off the kitchen counters.
Hardly a gift to you.
If you're like me, you may try and make your wishes more clearly known - I opt for straight-to-the-point emails to my husband containing pictures and best prices of small electronic gadgets "I wouldn't mind getting".
Cuz I'm nice like that.
But the nice folks at Shapeways have gone one better. They've offered my readers a $25 gift certificate with which you can buy your OWN gift, from the manymanymany unique 3D sculpted gifts on their site. (Think of it as Etsy for 3D artists.)Like this really super cool looking "light poem". Its definitely one of those things everyone will comment on when they see it on your end table.

Or this candle holder. Way cool, hey?
So - here's how you win. Visit their site and tell me what YOU'D buy for YOURSELF with that $25 gift certificate. (OK, OK, if you want to buy something for someone else just don't tell me, 'kay?) They have so much on that site here's a link to Mother's Day gifts to help you in your search. I'll randomly pick a winner on Friday morning, May 8th when I announce the winner of my other giveaway.
Happy shopping!
This post has been linked up with the Give it Away Now carnival at Mom Most Traveled.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
GIVEAWAY! And now we do the dance of joy...
I'm feeling a bit out of sorts today.
Not only is my suitcase sitting half unpacked (hey - at least I started) but there is bigger news in the Mommy Wins household.
That job offer the Hubby got? No longer conditional.
He starts March 2nd. Today is his last day at the current jobby-job.
And while we've been looking forward to this for quite some time, this means a lot of big changes for us, quickly! And my head is spinning. (Do we call a realtor first? Or the bank? Do we finish up the projects at the current house before we go looking at new ones? Do we just say 'screw all of that! let's drink wine and dance nekkid in the living room'?)
Happy thoughts are whirlin' around inside my dome, bumping into each other like drunk bloggers in the Pink Slip lounge screaming out the lyrics to Redneck Woman while two chicks rock out on stage. And that was at like 8 pm, y'all.
I'd love to rehash this great conference, give props to the sponsors and the wimmens I met there, but I just don't have it in me.
Instead, I'm just gonna give away a book.
Jen Lancaster was the keynote speaker at this year's Blissdom Conference, and she did not disappoint. If you're not familiar, I'll quickly tell you she's a self-proclaimed narcissist who learned the hard way its not a good idea to carry a Prada bag to the unemployment office. She is unbelievably funny and easy to read.
Her third memoir (yes, third, and no, she's not 80) came out last year and is called "Such a Pretty Fat: One Narcissist's Quest To Discover if Her Life Makes Her Ass LookBig, Or Why Pie is Not The Answer ". I'm quickly working my way through her first and I think I just may be done reading it by the end of my lunch hour.
I am giving away a brand new, autographed copy of "Such a Pretty Fat".
Want to win? Leave me a comment. Tell me my hair looks nice, that I smell purty, or some other such nonsense. Be creative! Be funny! Forget this random horse-begocky. I will pick my favorite comment as the winner.
Contest closes Saturday, February 14 at noon.
Friday, February 6, 2009
The winners...
The winner of the Little Painted Polka Dots gift certificate is Morninglight Mama!
The winner of the Macy's gift card is Angie!Thursday, February 5, 2009
GIVEAWAY! Everybody needs a little time away...
Today, however, work is busy and I want to get this giveaway posted. Please indulge me by first reading one of the many daydream/character sketches I've written -- this one from yesterday while in the train station in Chicago.
I'm not saying it really happened and I'm not saying it didn't.
The cab pulls up in front of Union Station on Adams Street. I pay the cabbie, take my receipt and as I push the door open, a surge of frigid air hits me and I duck my head.
They don't call it the windy city for nothin'.
As I trek to the doors of the station, I pass a musician, standing in the subzero windchills with his fingerless gloves and saxophone. The instrument is silent as he chats with a friend sitting on the wall behind him.
I hear "...jazz isn't as popular as it used to be..." before the doors close behind me and I'm on the escalator heading down.
I follow a familiar path to the Amtrak platform, passing interesting people as I go.
There's a man in a navy blue puffy down jacket with an oversized camouflage duffle bag strapped to his back. Another bag is strapped on top of that one, and another hangs to the side and I wonder where he's going will all that stuff. The fuzzy ear flaps on his hat hang down on both sides of his scruff of a beard, and he pays no attention to other patrons as he scans the boards looking for information on his train.
Beyond him there are business people - multitudes of them - carrying briefcases, checking blackberries and drinking pricey coffee. "...we'll be sure to call him Monday..." they appear say to themselves, their bluetooth headsets nearly invisible. And then I'm gone again.
I stop at a newsstand to pick up gum and a magazine. As I reach to pick up my Trident, my bag slips off my shoulder and stops with a thump when it hits the counter. I look down to rummage through my bag for my wallet, and fish out a few dollar bills. I'm aware of a few strands of hair that have escaped from my previously tidy ponytail, and shove them behind my ear only to have them fall in my face again.
Not yet looking up, I'm tucking the magazine in my bag and walking away when I nearly run into someone.
"Hey Speed Racer - slow down."
Its a familiar voice and I'm trying to place it as I jump out of the man's way, apologizing as I do.
"I saw you come in." He pauses. "You're stunning, you know?"
I'm so shocked I miss the fact that he's complimented me and give up on the gum, deciding I won't easily be able to open it with gloves on. I drop the gum in my bag and say, "And you're -"
"Yeah, right," he cuts me off. He smiles, head down and stands beside me, making it clear that he doesn't want the attention and that he's going to walk with me. Not knowing what else to do I continue on my way.
I'm not sure what to say. But taking the next escalator down, I catch him looking me up and down, taking in my long legs in their black hose and heels. "...and I'm married." Then I feel instantly stupid.
He's a bit taken aback, but then shakes his head lightly, the corners of his mouth curling into a smile. "See, we're making this romantic comedy, and..." thinking, he stops. "We could use a...a...sorta like a muse, you know?"
I have no idea where he's going with this, and find it absolutely bizarre he's approached a complete stranger.
"You're here pretty regularly. I see you writing on your laptop - typing away like the words are going to escape if you don't get them down." I turn a corner too sharply and accidentally cut him off, making him nearly walk into a garbage can. He smiles.
"Sorry," I say. "Um...anyway...?!?"
"So you're a writer, right?" To which I nod only slightly and shrug my shoulders.
"Well, this movie's about an average girl," at that he sees my face slightly drop but continues, "who's really quite beautiful - perfect, really - but she doesn't know it. She's like a Man's Lady, you know? Sort of like the opposite of a Lady's Man...everything a man wants...can get any one she wants because she's down to earth and ... NORMAL and likes guy things." Just as I'm finding it odd that this celebrity is doing all the talking - that I haven't had to worry about tripping over my own tongue in front of him - he stops.
"Right. Weird. I know." I stop walking and face him. I'm not sure what to do with my hands. "We're looking for a consultant. A writer, you know? Someone who's brain we can pick about being a regular person - about being that Man's Lady. You up for a job?"
I'm stunned, but know I should say SOMETHING. So I do. "Um...wow. Uh, sounds good," though I'm not really sure HOW to take it.
"Here's my card. Think about it and call me." And then he walks away, turning a few feet from me to wink and give a little half-wave. "Please do. Call that is."
And I'm left on the platform, in the cold, where I can see my breath, having just had an internal freak out at talking to Vince Vaughn.
OK, so like I said, I may have embellished that a bit. I mean, there weren't really multitudes of business people in Union Station. Just lots.
Today's giveaway is simple, to encourge your inner creativity.
~ My slightly used hardcover copy of Barbara Kingsolver's The Bean Trees. I loved this book and thought you might love it, too!
~ A cutesy little notebook for all of your daydreams and a great roller-ball gel pen to write with.
~ And just for kicks and giggles, a little box of Valentine chocolates.
All you need to do to enter is leave me a comment. Das it.
Contest ends tomorrow at noon central.
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
GIVEAWAY! Get outta the house!
My natives? They're long past restless.
And Phil? That bastage didn't see his damned shadow. What gives, Phil?!? Have you ever seen that thing?!?
I know there are parts of the country that have recently been hit with ice storms and others with mass amounts of snow, and there were folks in both areas who lost power because of the weather. We're lucky.
BUT -- that being said, its only hit freezing (32F) once here in the past month. ONCE.
There hasn't been much snow, and definitely no ice storms to speak of here in Brew City, but oh mah gah...its damn cold!
I've long past run out of indoor activities to keep my kids busy. LONG PAST.
The fighting over toys has grown to epic proportions. EPIC.
My rule? If you can't share? I take it away!!!
Usually I only have to threaten or take something away once and that works to get my point across.
These days? Notsomuch.
Case in point: I was picking up the house after the boys were in bed tonight and look what I found on top of the fridge.
On top of the china cabinet?On top of the piano?
And finally, behind the couch:
Tomorrow? Come hell or high water (or ten below temps) I'm getting them out of the house! That usually works to change their moods!
In the spirit of cold-weather activities, I'm giving away a $20 Fandango gift card!
Leave a comment below for one entry.
You get a second entry if you subscribe to my feed and send me an email with the secret code (included at the bottom of the post in your reader) in the subject line. (You need not say anything else in the email - it won't otherwise be read. If you entered Monday's giveaway or Tuesday's giveaway with the secret code, that entry is counted here, too.)
Want a third entry? Follow me on Twitter. Then DM me with a "Hi! I'm entering your giveaway for ___." (Make sure you tell me which giveaway.)
All contests will be open through Friday, February 6th at noon central time. I'll then pick a winner for all three using random.org.
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
GIVEAWAY! Shopping for Momma
That means this busy workin' Momma has a lot of crap to do to get ready!
Tonight my Mom came over so that I could head to the mall sans boys to search for juuuust the right cocktail party outfit.
I looked at shoes. Apparently there are still stores who believe that those of us with feet bigger than an eight don't deserve to to have cute feet. "Here - just wear the boxes!"
I looked at dresses. Oh holy mother of God...what in the hell was that crap I tried on?!? It wasn't worth the time it took to shimmy out of my Levi's. But then I knew they weren't promising when I looked at them on the hanger.
Then I figured "Screw it, I'll get a cute top to wear with pants I already own." What in the name of Donna Karen are designers thinking with the "make it look like a maternity top" trend?
It seems that every time I have a few extra bucks in my pocket and no children with me I should just save my time and cut arm holes in a burlap sack.
So I was sulking through the mall, giving the platinum haired sized twos the evil stink eye when low and behold, there it was...in the center of the mall...
A threading "boutique". (Quotes appropriately used, I feel, because anything at a cart in the middle of the mall isn't really a boutique. But it was fast, cheap and if I pay for six, my seventh threading is free!*)
Fifteen minutes later and I had quite the improved mood.
And at least I have new eyebrows for Blissdom.

So...the moment you've been waiting for! In the hopes that you have a better shopping experience than I, I am giving one lucky reader a $20 Macy's gift card!!!
You get one entry for leaving a comment. (Make sure you leave your e-mail address or otherwise have it in your profile.)
You get a second entry if you subscribe to my feed and send me an email with the secret code (included at the bottom of the post in your reader) in the subject line. (You need not say anything else in the email - it won't otherwise be read. If you entered yesterday's giveaway with the secret code, that entry is counted here, too.)
Want a third entry? Follow me on Twitter. Then DM me with a "Hi! I'm entering your giveaway for ___." (Make sure you tell me which giveaway.)
This contest will be open through Friday, February 6th at noon central time. I'll then pick a winner using random.org.
Don't miss yesterday's giveaway!
*I recently wrote about threading over at Blissfully Domestic. Go check out the article if you don't know what the heck I'm talkin' about.
I reserve the right to throw out your twitter entry if you stop following before the week is out.
Monday, February 2, 2009
GIVEAWAY! Little Painted Polka Dots
A few months ago I redecorated my boys' room so that it wasn't quite so baby-ish and was looking for some unique wall-decor. I found it at LPPD. So...to enter, pop on over to the Little Painted Polka Dots store and browse around.

You get one entry for leaving a comment with the item you'd choose if you won. (Make sure you leave your e-mail address or otherwise have it in your profile.)
You get a second entry if you subscribe to my feed and send me an email with the secret code (included at the bottom of the post in your reader) in the subject line. (You need not say anything else in the email - it won't otherwise be read.)
Want a third entry? Follow me on Twitter. Then DM me with a "Hi! I'm entering your giveaway for ___." (Make sure you tell me which giveaway.)
This contest will be open through Friday, February 6th at noon central time. I'll then pick a winner using random.org.
Good luck!
I reserve the right to throw out your twitter entry if you stop following before the week is out.
Saturday, January 17, 2009
Drum roll, please...

Thanks to all who entered!
If you'd like to purchase your own Solessence luxury spa products, check out their Web site!
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
GIVEAWAY! Beat the winter "BLAHS"
Excited as in I'm sitting here on my couch, squealing like a girl. You know the kind. "EEEEEEEE!" (Needless to say my eyes are clenched shut and I'm stomping my feet quickly on the floor.)
The kind of girl at whom you'd usually catch me rolling my eyes.
But this past fall I made a friend through Twitter. Hillary owns Solessence, a company specializing in organic luxury soaps, lotions and bath fizzies.
When we met in person, she must have seen how dry and flaky my skin was (love these Midwest winters!) because she was kind enough to leave me with some of her product. (Trust me, she's a classy gal - there was no scoffing, no "let me fix yer face" attitude. Just a nice gal and her cute son.)
After several weeks of using the SheaShea sugar scrub, my legs are no longer scaly. My face no longer flaky. I follow up my showers with the matching SheaShea lotion and the winter itchies are gone!
Solessence is giving away to one of my readers the Coconut Shea Gift Bag.
The set includes SheaShea lotion, scrub and soap.
"OK," you say, "good giveaway. But why the heck are you freaking out?"
Because Solessence isn't some rinky dink operation. Their products have been featured at big time events. With famous people and stuff. When I use the scrub on my legs before I shave I like to imagine J. Lo doing the same. (The extra oil it leaves behind makes for a heavenly shaving experience. And I gotta lotta leg to shave.)
So - how can you win already? You can get one entry for each of the following:
1) Leaving a comment on this post.
2) Letting other folks know on Twitter. Just copy and paste:
r/t @mommy_wins is giving away @solessence luxury soaps and lotions on her blog! http://tinyurl.com/9vjuon
E-mail me the link to your tweet or leave it in your comment.
3) Subscribing to my feed -- you will see a secret note at the bottom of my posts in your reader. E-mail me with that secret note in the subject line. (E-mails will not be read.)
4) Writing a post about it on your blog. (Send me the link.)
This contest will be open until Saturday morning at 10 a.m. Central.
Enter away!
Saturday, November 1, 2008
We have a winner, folks!
I may just have to do giveaways more often...hmmmm...
Without further adieu...the winner is Susan! Go check out the ultrasound pics of her baby boy over on her blog and wish her congratualtions!!!

Friday, October 31, 2008
These are a few of my favorite things GIVEAWAY!
**This is a sticky post - scroll down for more current posts.**
Last quarter's bloggy giveaway was NUTS. If you don't remember, I gave away a purse...with no money in it. I got 571 entries.
I don't think I could ever out-do myself on that one.
This week? I'm giving away my favorite things cuz I figure you might like them, too!
The winner gets the following:
1) $10 Starbucks gift card
2) A bottle of Johnson & Johnson Melt Away Stress body lotion (trust me - smells trés relaxing!)
3) A 5x7" picture frame similar to this one (never used, though I bought it awhile back for who knows what)
4) A copy of Plain Truth, by Jodi Picoult
5) A bag of Dove chocolates
Winner will be chosen using Random Number Generator on Friday, October 31 at 10 p.m. Central. To enter, leave a comment telling me how nice my hair looks today. (Winner must be in US or Canada and be willing to provide me with their mailing address. C'mon, I promise not to kill you in your sleep. Oh, and if you don't have an email address on your profile or in your comment, you can't win. So there.)
For more giveaways, go here.
**This is a sticky post - scroll down for more current posts.**
Thursday, August 14, 2008
My bloggie to do list
First: A giveaway!!!
Yes, lately I've been the giveaway queen. But August marks my six month anniversary of blogging. (Can I consider myself *not* a newbie now?) And in the next week or so, I'll publish my 200th post. Cause for a minor celebration? Yes. (Just don't ask my hubby or his eyes may just roll back so far they fall out of his head.)
So this is what's up for grabs:
Cute, no? Shelly, the gal who won my purse giveaway, has her own Etsy store, and has graciously donated this cute pendant necklace toward my own little bloggie celebration.
Here's what to do:
1) Visit Shelly's store and comment on this post with the item you'd buy if you don't win this cute gold heart necklace.
2) Contest is open until Thursday, August 14 at 10 p.m. Central. You may enter only once per day, but each day of the contest if you'd like. If your comment doesn't name an item from Shelly's store, or if you enter more than once in the same day, I'ma kick out that entry.
3) Winner will be announced in Friday's Flashback post.
You need to pick an item you like from Shelly's store, but you'll win the gold heart pendant/chain pictured.

It's from Couture Moms. Green isn't the first color I would have chosen, but hell, its still better than some of the tees I got rid of this past week. In fact, its rather cute, wouldn't you say? You can order a customized one with the number of kids you have on it. (ie. you have three kids, you'd order a mom³ shirt.) And Kate (from one of my fave shows, Jon & Kate + 8) has one, too!
Item #3: An award.
I must apologize for "losing" this award, but Brenda from The Queen of Good Intentions awarded this to me waaay back in July and sometimes I just spaz out and lose track of things. Thankfully, I've not yet lost my kids.
You're supposed to award it to seven people, but damn, that'd take me a lot of time. Instead, I'm giving it to:
1) Heather at Autumn of Oak Hollow. I think she's one of those bloggers who just doesn't get the attention she deserves. I ♥ the way she writes, especially in her recent post she called "Dance like everyone's watching." Go read it - she makes a good point!
2) Mrs. 4444 from Half-Past Kissing Time.
3) Melissa from Green Girl in Wisconsin.
Now, please don't be upset I didn't write raving reviews of #2&3. Its late and I'm tired and I want to give equal bloggie love to all, but also don't want to delete what I wrote after Heather's name. They're all equally great bloggers, or would I be reading them? Go check 'em out. 'Nuff said.
And last, but certainly not least, Heather, at aforementioned Autumn at Oak Hollow awarded me this lil' beautfy.
And the award goes to:
1) Shannon at Southern Grits & Tidbits.
2) Kim at It's a Dog and Pony Show.3) Mel at Rock and Drool.
That's it, people. That's all I got in me for tonight - now go check out Shelly's store & comment!
**This is a sticky post. Please scroll down for more intelligent insight. That is all.**
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